


Dead Roses

by zestycheck (breathingfire)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied Past Abuse, M/M, Post-Episode: e041-049 The Eleventh Hour Parts 1-9, Pre-Episode: e051-057 The Suffering Game Parts 1-7, Rated T for swears, in which they both think they've Royally Fucked This Up, mags is there for approx 2 seconds but hes got lines so, mention of Sazed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingfire/pseuds/zestycheck
Summary: Taako has always had issues getting close to people. After all, growing up on the road conditions you pretty quickly not to trust.It doesn't help that his one significant romantic relationship ended in flames because the guy was an abusive asshole.So when he feels the same set of emotions happen towards Kravitz, he does the only thing he can think to do:He runs.





	Dead Roses

**Author's Note:**

> ((is it just me or are ao3's new episode tags a lil overwhelming))
> 
> this is what ive been working on instead of homework for the past few days lmao, and instead of the million wips i already have going. it just sorta took a life of its own
> 
> ive been in an angsty mood, idk

During their first kiss, Taako's heart jumps into his throat. He's not entirely sure  _ why _ ; it's nice, sure, but it's not certainly not the best kiss he's ever had.

Taako realizes later, alone in his bedroom: Kravitz is the first man he's wanted to get to know, whose opinions he truly valued and whose favor he really wanted, since  _ Sazed _ . None of his other flings and boytoys since have mattered as much, or at all.

The thought terrifies him.

He's just a fraction more distant after that, hoping the space will help correct his mistake.

It doesn't.

In fact, when Kravitz shows up to their third date with roses that have died tragically in his hands (thanks to Pan's grudge), smiling and waving happily at him, Taako finds himself precariously close to the edge of the cliff of something much deeper than lust or infatuation. And, since emotional distance doesn't seem to help him anymore, he lets his fight-or-flight instinct take over completely.

He bolts. But not before seeing Kravitz's face: full of shock, confusion, and  _ hurt _ .

\--

Kravitz just stares at where Taako disappeared back into the crowd. “Taako?” he called, but not loud enough that Taako actually had any chance of hearing him over the hum of passing conversation. This was not how he imagined the night would go, at all. Here he thought they had something. Here he thought things were going well.

He must have dropped the roses at some point, since when he turned into a dark alley to slice a rift away from prying eyes, he didn't have them. Not that it mattered, not anymore. They were as dead as he felt. He summons a rift with shaking hands, and steps through.

\--

Taako doesn't run very far. He meant to get to the city limits in order to summon a ride back to the moonbase, but he only makes it as far as the local park before he collapses, shaking and sobbing. At least there aren't many people out in the park this time of night.

A part of him berates himself for ruining one of the few good things he had going for him. A smaller portion of himself feels delighted, vindicated; the threat of emotional connection was defeated at last. A third just feels resigned; he knew he never deserved this, never deserved Kravitz.

He doesn't know how long he stayed in the park, sobbing behind a bush while a war of emotions rages through him. But eventually he stands up, numb, and makes his way to the closest edge of the city. It actually takes him past the restaurant this all took place in front of - the shortest way out of the city was actually behind Kravitz, but he didn't think about that before. The streets are much more empty than before; it must've been hours.

As he approaches the scene, he slows down. Kravitz's roses are on the ground, slightly trampled by passersby but still intact to a surprising degree. He picks them up and gently touches a blackened petal that had almost fallen off entirely, and it does, under his touch. He stares at them for a second, a fresh tear rolling down his cheek, before he continues walking. 

Magnus and Merle aren't awake to ask him why he's clutching a dozen dead roses when he walks in.

\--

He should've known this never would have worked out. Taako's  _ mortal _ , and mortals don't tend to want to hang around agents of death. Kravitz must have misread his intentions and projected his own desires onto their interactions. Or maybe Taako had felt the same way, but just now realized the situation.

The kiss was uncalled for. That must be why. Or maybe it was the roses.

He should've known this would have ended this way, but that doesn't stop him from feeling crushed. He stares at his hands, wondering where, exactly, it all went to shit.

\--

Taako still has the roses when he collapses onto his bed. Staring at them, one thought manages to work it's way through his numb, fuzzy mind: he fucked up, and  _ badly _ .

He drops them, finally, over the edge of his bed to join the rest of his garbage on his floor, and rolls over to go to sleep. Today was terrible, and being unconscious for eight to ten hours sounds really appealing to him right now.

\--

Kravitz stares at his stone of farspeech. He wants to call Taako, to at least know definitively  _ why _ .

But he doesn't. He knows himself too well; that's not a conversation that will end well.

He needs a distraction, so instead, he takes the most dangerous bounty he could find and heads out.

\--

When Taako is woken up by the soft light of morning, he feels light and untroubled. It's only when he swings his legs over the side of the bed and looks down that he's suddenly hit by the memory of what happened last night. But, staring at the few pitiful petals still clinging to blackened stems, he can't even gather the energy to feel shitty about it. Or feel much of anything at all. His romantic prospects have collapsed around him, and it's his fault entirely.

He goes and makes himself breakfast.

\--

Even while dealing with this extremely powerful lich and his undead army, Kravitz can’t bring himself to focus entirely on the task at hand. Multiple missteps were caused by his mind suddenly conjuring up Taako’s lilting laugh, or his unguarded smile, or how he ran away last night, crying.

Kravitz laughs internally, bitterly. Even while he isn’t here, Taako affects his job performance.

\--

Taako returns to his room hours later, after training, and the first thing his eyes settle on is the discarded roses on the floor. He picks them up and sits heavily on the bed. He stares at the roses, runs his fingers over the ruined stems.

He should call, should apologize for being an ass. This isn’t normally Taako’s style, of course, but no matter what he said at the Chug N’ Squeeze, the Tres Horny Boys' track record points to more dying in the future. And the last thing he needs is to have his and his friends’ souls confiscated because he stood up the Grim Reaper.

He swallowed thickly. That was what happened, wasn’t it? How could he be such a dumbass? Things were going so well, too.  _ Because the last time things “were going so well”, they decidedly weren’t, _ he reminded himself.

He takes a deep breath. Maybe he should take another chance, if he hasn’t fucked this up irreversibly.

Before he can overthink it, he picks up his stone of farspeech. “Kravitz? Are you there? I, uh, I wanna say I’m sorry.” He winces.  _ Way to sound like you mean it. _

There are a few prolonged seconds of silence, where Taako thinks maybe he did fuck this up big-time, before Kravitz’s voice finally comes through. “Not the time, Taako.” He sounds rushed, and maybe breathless? Taako can’t really tell.

He sighs. “I mean, yeah, I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I was kind of an dick. Or at least, more than usual.”

“No, I’d love to talk, but now  _ is really not the time _ .” Not even a second later, an earsplitting screech comes through the stone, before the connection is cut off.

Taako hears a crash in the living room, and has about three seconds to cast Arcane Lock before Magnus is pounding on his door. “Taako!? Are you okay!?”

The pounding does not help the ringing in his ears, or the pounding in his head. “Yeah, I’m fine, fuck off!”

“What  _ was _ that?”

“I was just, fuckin’ - I was experimenting with magic, okay? Did something I shouldn’t’ve. It’s been taken care of.”

“Alright, fine. Just be careful.” At least he can count on Magnus not knowing enough magic to call him out on his bullshit.

So now he has to deal with the fact he may have gotten his maybe-boyfriend-maybe-ex  _ killed _ . The past twenty-four hours have been just super great for Taako.

He settles down to meditate, knowing sleep will not be an option tonight, no matter how much he wants it. Not with that scream still rattling around his head.

\--

Taako was startled out of meditation by the sound of the fabric of reality being torn open, and out steps Kravitz in his handsome face, looking disheveled but wearing a hopeful smile.

“Can you warn a dude next time? Also, couldn’t you have just called?” Taako asks, more surprised than anything.

“My stone of farspeech was destroyed,” Kravitz replies. He looks around, just now seeming to notice the time; a few hours before dawn, in Taako's estimation. “If you want me to come back later…”

Taako sighs, waving him off. “No, might as well get it over with now.” He was hoping to not have to watch Kravitz’s face during this discussion, but it seems like that’s not going to be an option now.  _ Gee, thanks Istus. _ But first… “What, uh, what was that all about?”

Kravitz sits down heavily at the foot of the bed, making Taako bounce a bit. He runs a hand over his face. “An extremely powerful lich summoned an undead skeletal dragon.” He looks over at Taako; he looks  _ tired _ . “So, fun times, you know?”

Taako half-smirks. “As opposed to a  _ living  _ skeletal dragon?”

“What?”

Taako waves it off; it was a terrible joke anyway. “Nothing.” He stares at his hands in his lap. “I… I guess I should apologize, huh? It's -” He stops himself just a fraction of a second before saying  _ it's not you, it's me _ ; he could live without bringing break-up cliches into this.

“Apologize for what?” Kravitz asks, sounding carefully neutral.

“For being an asshole, I guess. Running away wasn't cool of me.” And because Kravitz always seems to bring out the truth in him: “I was afraid.”

“Of me?” And Kravitz sounds so small, so broken that Taako has to look up at him. His careful neutral mask is completely shattered; he looks crushed.

The realization of what he meant dawns on Taako after a second. “No! No, not that, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.” When Kravitz just looks confused, Taako clarifies, “I was afraid of how  _ good _ you are to me. Of how much I like you. How much I've fallen for you, already.” Something in him wants to lay all his demons bare, so he adds, “It hasn't really worked out for me in the past, falling for people.” He shakes his head and sighs. “I fucked up, and I understand if you don't want to see me anymore.”

Kravitz laughs breathlessly. “I thought  _ you _ didn't want to see  _ me _ . Taako, I'm 'good to you’ because I've also fallen for you, and because you  _ deserve it _ , that and much more. I would never hurt you, Taako, I promise.”

Taako swallows thickly. “Really?” He asks, voice breaking embarrassingly.

“Of course,” he replies, relief visible on his face. He suddenly sounds a bit more nervous when he adds, “So, are we, uh... still seeing each other?”

Taako smiles genuinely, for the first time in what feels like an eternity. “If you want to be.”

Instead of answering, Kravitz just moves closer, until his face is just a few inches away from Taako's. “May I kiss you?”

_ “May I kiss you” - what a nerd. _ Instead of dignifying that with an answer, Taako grabs the lapels of Kravitz's jacket and closes the gap himself. At the contact of Kravitz's cool lips, he feels his heart leap into his throat again, but this time he isn't afraid of what that means.

On the floor, a single red rose blooms on the otherwise dead bouquet.

**Author's Note:**

> Krav: "ok but youve got to _tell me_ when somethings wrong"  
>  Taako: *two minute long groan, flops backwards onto the pillows*
> 
> i didnt have a plan for this at all, it just sorta leaped from my brain basically fully-formed, so if its really overly weird, thats why.  
> but also i liked the idea of getting both their perspectives at the same time, so I apologize if it feels too back-and-forth
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to follow my taz tumblr [@zestycheck](https://zestycheck.tumblr.com). I take fic requests + prompts.


End file.
